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| Games without frontiers, war without tears |
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| Sunday, 15 May 2005 | |
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Microsoft is split between hyping its latest play in the games console arena and maintaining what is left of its social conscience... The Xbox360™ is upon us and before the telecom/IT diehards say “what has this got to do with us?”, consider the following: • it’s live and online; • it eats bandwidth; • it has all the security guarantees for which Microsoft is now renowned; • it aids the development of the world’s children. In its 12 May launch statement on Xbox 360™, Microsoft gushed: “Celebrating the dawn of a new era in entertainment, millions of game fanatics around the globe came together tonight for the televised unveiling of the Xbox 360™ future-generation game and entertainment system from Microsoft. An audience of millions watched "MTV Presents: The Next-Generation Xbox Revealed" as celebrities, professional athletes, musicians and Xbox officials took the wraps off the much-anticipated system, ending months of intense speculation and satiating consumers worldwide.” Time for what the Romans used to call a ‘vomitory interlude’. Yes, I’m about to be sick at the thought of this. The full poop Wiping the sweat and sputum from my forehead and mouth (respectively) I cannot help but repeat verbatim what Microsoft claims for this latest breakthrough. For the sake of my sanity I’ll place these in my own italics. Before that, we’ll consider anew the aims of Bill Gates, Microsoft founder and billionaire philanthropist. At the 2005 International Consumer Electronics Show, he said, "this has been a great year moving towards the digital lifestyle. I'd say it's going even faster than we would have expected." Amen to that. My italicised extract from the joyous news runs as follows (tip: if you get bored, skip to the end where the Juice can be found): The new Xbox 360 system places players at the center of powerful next-generation games and entertainment experiences. The elegant design features a breakthrough wireless controller and an array of Faces, interchangeable faceplates that let gamers personalize their console. The unveiling spotlighted some of the groundbreaking games in development for the new Xbox 360 system, advancements for the Xbox Live™ service — the only unified console gaming service— and new digital media experiences that only Xbox 360 can deliver. "With the first generation of Xbox, our ambition was to change the way people think about video games," said Robbie Bach, chief Xbox officer at Microsoft. "Starting today with Xbox 360, our ambition is to transform the way people play games and have fun." Xbox 360 will unleash the greatest game lineup in the history of video games when it launches in North America, Europe and Japan this Christmas holiday. The games that captured the color, drama and fun of high-definition gameplay at the MTV unveiling included 2K Sports' "NBA 2K6"; Activision Publishing Inc.'s "Call of Duty® 2" and "Tony Hawk's American Wasteland™", along with id Software's "QUAKE 4™"; Electronic Arts' "Madden NFL 06," "Need for Speed™ Most Wanted" and "Tiger Woods PGA TOUR® 06"; Majesco Entertainment's "The Darkness"; Microsoft Game Studios' "Perfect Dark: Zero™," "Kameo™: Elements of Power™," "Project Gotham Racing™ 3" and "Gears of War"; THQ Inc.'s "Saint's Row"; and Ubisoft Entertainment's "Ghost Recon 3." The Platform and Partners Power the Portfolio Xbox 360 ignites a new era of digital entertainment that is always connected, always personalized and always in high definition. It is the only system designed with a singular platform vision that combines the most-powerful hardware with intelligent software and services advancements. Every Xbox 360 game is designed for high-definition, wide-screen televisions. Regardless of the television Xbox 360 connects to, gamers will experience smooth, cinematic experiences that far exceed anything they've seen or felt in games before. And these experiences are never more than a click away. The Xbox Guide Button is the launch pad that connects gamers to their games, friends and music from the wireless controller. With more than one teraflop of system-floating point performance, a three-core PowerPC-based CPU for the most-advanced artificial intelligence and physics processing, a custom ATI graphics processor, and more than 512 MB of memory for the ultimate in visual fidelity, the Xbox 360 hardware is a perfect blend of power, elegance and balance. Xbox 360 also features software so smart it remembers what gamers have achieved, continually evolving and enhancing the game experience. When the system is combined with unrivaled Microsoft® XNA™ software development tools, game creators can produce truly believable, thriving worlds. "Xbox 360 marks the beginning of a renaissance in video games," said Don Mattrick, president of Worldwide Studios for Electronic Arts. "The unbelievable Xbox 360 games in development at Electronic Arts will accelerate the industry's mission to make video games the pre-eminent form of all entertainment." "With Xbox 360, a new chapter in video game history is being written," said Kathy Vrabeck, president of Activision Publishing. "The platform liberates us to achieve new levels of graphics and gameplay so our audiences connect emotionally with more riveting stories, more believable characters and more open, living worlds." Xbox Live: New Levels of Service Get Everyone in the Game Connect Xbox 360 to a broadband connection and get instant access to Xbox Live Silver, available for no monthly service charge with an Xbox 360 system. Players can express their digital identity through their Gamer Profile; connect with friends anytime, anywhere through Xbox Live voice chat; send and receive text and voice message; and access Xbox Live Marketplace to download demos and trailers along with new game levels, maps, weapons, vehicles, skins, classic arcade and card and board games, community-created content, and more to the detachable Xbox 360 hard drive — all right out of the box at no extra cost. Composed of user-generated information such as Achievements (rewards players have earned in games), Gamerzone (style of play), and a custom-created Gamertile (a visual icon to represent the gamer online), the Gamer Profile makes it easy to connect with the Xbox Live community. Gamers who subscribe to the premium service, Xbox Live Gold, can experience the thrill of multiplayer online gameplay. Gamer Profiles will provide a foundation for intelligent matchmaking, so players of similar skill levels and interests can quickly and easily connect, and the Xbox Live Camera peripheral will let gamers add their faces into games and see their friends while they play. Other Xbox Live Gold features for premium members include video messaging; online tournaments and ladders; and exclusive, original programming such as playing with celebrities online and joining sponsored tournaments to win prizes. And all Xbox 360 owners new to Xbox Live will kick-start their experience with a free month of the full subscription service, which will let them experience the full power of Xbox Live. Unlock a New World of Digital Entertainment With Xbox 360, gamers are always on. At its core, Xbox 360 is an amazing game machine with a wide selection of titles. But it is also an entertainment system that lets people power new experiences. Every Xbox 360 system has built-in progressive-scan DVD movie, CD music and photo playback support. The integration of Xbox Live into the system lets players receive game invitations from friends while they're watching movies or listening to music. And every MP3 player, digital camera and Windows® XP-based PC with a Universal Serial Bus (USB) 2.0 port can plug right into an Xbox 360 system to stream music and photos. Here endeth my italicised extract. Good news day Italics over. It’s back to me. I’m not a luddite. But if I strip the linguistic guts out of the above italicised hype (and believe me, I did not inflict the whole lot upon you because I am merciful in a take it or leave it kinda way), the following phrases can be stood on their nose: • “satiating consumers worldwide”; • “our ambition is to transform the way people play games and have fun”; • “every Xbox 360 game is designed for high-definition, wide-screen televisions”; • “our audiences connect emotionally with more riveting stories, more believable characters and more open, living worlds”; • “ an entertainment system that lets people power new experiences”. I will not even begin to catalogue the iniquitous bases on which these throw-away lines are posited. Nor is this an exhaustive list, since the BS quotient in this statement reaches new highs. OK, it's just hype. But please note that this is not marketing speak: it’s a sociopathic statement of intent on how kids will live in the future. That it falls from the pursed and poised lips of Bill Gates who, with his wife Melinda has pledged more than $28.8bn (€23bn) for good causes through the magnificent and munificent auspices of The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, is surprising. Added to which, it just sounds a bit weird. |
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