Dead mogul’s diehard supporters' religious rantings absolve him of guilt. Is it as easy as that? Blessed be the shareholders?  

Dr Kenneth Lee Lay died last week. You may remember him: found guilty on twelve felonious charges to do with pissing all over American markets from the giddy eerie of his Houston empire at Enron. Ken Lay (if you say it fast, he sounds like a form of flooring) died on 05 July. God rest his soul. Say it slowly, and he sounds like a form of potato chip.

God has, apparently, wiped clean the slate of 12 felonies that temprarirly smudged Lay’s reputation on earth while he was head of Enron. Among other industries that he buggered was broadband telecom capacity trading... so yes, I can comment on this.

Lay also famously banked millions (of dollars) while putting tens of thousands (of human beings – you know, living breathing souls) out of work. But even if someone is/was a born-again Christian, we should never speak ill of the dead.

People with sick minds have posted spoof obituaries of Lay, doubtless encouraged by the fact that he did metaphorically shag a lot of normal American workers along the way.

The following quotes are taken from a fabulous spoof called kenlayinfo.com. Those behind this type of sick humour should be taken out and shot. Some folks might think they are serious.

Kenlayinfo.com tells us:

“Ken Lay was born April 15, 1942 in Tyrone, Missouri to a loving father and mother – Omer and Ruth Lay. Ken spent 64 years on earth doing God’s work helping others with great compassion. We know that Ruth and Omer have embraced their precious son once again.”

“Ken’s life exemplified Galatians 5:22: ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control’. Despite his meager upbringing, Ken was always generous with his time, money, love, talents and leadership. To know Ken was to love him.”

“Ken’s door was always open, whether it was to help with college funds for a child, to help a former Enron employee pay their mortgage; to help young entrepreneurs make their dreams a reality, or to give a second chance when he believed in a person. Ken could not say no to anyone needing help.”

“Ken’s love of Linda was unsurpassed – they were to celebrate their 24th anniversary on July 10th – they were truly best friends, soul mates and partners. They were always holding hands and demonstrating their incredible adoration for each other. Their relationship was truly unique and Linda considers herself the luckiest woman in the world to have had those precious years with Ken.”

“Ken always had the time to listen and support his family in the best and worst of times. He made many trips to Missouri for holiday celebrations and to visit his sick and dying parents in the last of their lives. He was the Rock of Gibraltar for his parents and his sisters.”

“Above all, he trusted God that He had a plan, even if it was never perfectly clear.”

“Ken loved Enron, and saw the company as one of limitless possibilities. He often talked of the incredible talent at Enron and believed that the Enron employees were unsurpassed in any industry.”

“For those who know and love Ken, we take comfort in the knowledge that he is in the loving presence of the one true Judge.”

I won’t say a thing. The evil people who place pretend website-obituaries  like this should be hunted down, eviscerated, put back together and then kebabbed..

More seriously, the US seems to have gone in for the hagiography of capitalists as Christians. Gates deserves to rise above this dubious honour. Others, like Lay, do not.

What Would Jesus Do? He’d sell His shares... doubtless after a tip-off from the top so he'd get out before others were crucified in the market. God moves in mysterious ways. Part of that mystery stems from the fact that God, like Jesus and George W. Bush, is on first-name terms with convicted felons like Kenneth Lee Lay and they all play golf together.
Jim Chalmers (not knowingly on first name terms with God, Jesus, Bush or Lay)