Our American friends do not like gambling. Put a gun in their hands, however, and they come over all Chuck Heston…  

US prohibitionists have thrown the online gambling world into chaos with a subsection of  a bill designed to protect US ports from terror attacks. The connection is a bit stupid but we have gone to war for less.

American citizens appear to enjoy online gaming with companies that are, for legal reasons, listed and based outside the US. Now, thanks to the Senate, banks cannot handle transactions which involve winnings or losings (what gamblers like to call ‘investments’) online.

That’s bad news for banks... they can’t pay out gambling winners. But they can sure do guns. Gambling may be hit and miss but, in the US, the same can surely not be said of guns. They never miss!

“I want to share some information with those of you looking to buy a handgun. If you are a first time buyer or an experienced buyer you will hopefully find something here that helps. This is obviously a large topic and I am going to cover some broad points that in my opinion will help you in your search”

Bang bang you’re dead.

“I saw your site. I had an abortion. I am really scared. I am so scared. As soon as I have enough money when I can get a job I want to buy a gun and use it. I am going to hell anyway. You don't understand. All my life I have known how beautiful I am to be a woman, my purpose of life to bring life in this world like God asked of Adam and Eve. But I had an abusive boyfriend (verbally I mean) who turned out to be 34 (told me he's 24) and I hate myself for giving in because of his mean words.”

Bang bang you’re dead.

“This special edition rifle features a beautiful multicolor laminate thumbhole stock with a barracuda-style forend, Race Rifle grip cap, and USA Shooting Team logo. It has a 20" hammer-forged, target-crowned blued steel bull barrel and target trigger, and includes both a standard black magazine and a clear magazine. The receiver is drilled and tapped to accept a combination .22 tip-off and Weaver-style scope base adapter, included at no extra charge. To make this rifle even more unique, a special serial number series beginning with "USST-0001" has been created, and production of this rifle will be limited to 2008 pieces.

Bang bang you’re dead.

“You can simply select the criteria for the firearm you want to locate and click on the submit button. If you want to see all 9mm firearms, then choose the 9mm option in the Caliber pull-down menu. If that is the only specification that you know so far, then leave each of the other sections defaulting to "ALL". If you know that it is a 9mm Ruger, then only choose Ruger as the manufacturer and 9mm as the caliber. This way you see all the 9mm Ruger pistols that are available. Easy!”

Bang bang you’re dead.

“So, you're thinking of buying a gun. With all the unease in the country since 9-11, that isn't surprising. Many people are buying guns; as this news story reports, they're doing so to be able to protect themselves and loved ones. It's not a bad idea, but before you make that move, you should learn as much as you can about guns so you can make an informed choice.”

Bang bang you’re dead.

“Do you know the one and only BEST way to save big money on your purchases of firearms and accessories? Get Your Own Federal Firearms License (FFL). That's right! No matter what else you do, your access to the best deals and direct sales from manufacturers and distributors is shut off without your own FFL. What if I told you that a large percentage of current FFLs run their business from their home, and many of them have never made a sale to anyone outside of friends and family? Yet they buy at low, low wholesale prices and have no shipping hassles, as everything is shipped right to them directly. They will never again pay someone else $25.00 to $40.00 for doing nothing more than filling out a form and handing them their gun.”

Bang bang you’re dead.

And I’d like to put 25p each way on ‘Mondays’ in the 4.20 at Wincanton. Sorry, that is breaking the law. 10p on the nose, ‘Columbine’ in the 3.10 at Newbury. Breaking the betting laws too. £2 each way on ‘Lancaster’ in the 1.30pm at Folkestone.

Doesn’t work. Bang bang you’re dead.
Jim Chalmers