| Virgin? Who are you kidding? |
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| Monday, 18 June 2007 | |
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Only the Pope in Rome has more people kissing his ring than Sir Richard Branson. Now you can pay for the privilege. And you will be grateful.
Close to home. So here’s a declaration of interest: I am a long-standing Telewest customer, briefly a ‘ntl:Telewest’ customer and now a ‘Virgin Media’ customer. And now I can bask in the glory of being a customer of Sir Richard Branson, Margaret Thatcher’s love-child begat of Bono, Geldof and the other gang-bangers of caring capitalism. The perma-tanned entrepreneur with the Christ-like visage is now extending his pitiful attempt to rip off customers on the railways to one-time Telewest customers for whom the helpline service was free. But it’s not all bad: “From 1st July, our broadband helpline number is changing and from then on it’ll cost 25p per minute to call from a Virgin home phone, plus 10p to connect. Mobiles and other networks may vary. The new number is… [lawyers say I can’t put Branson’s home number here].” Appearing to realise how inflammatory this might be, Virgin Media offers detailed technical guidance as to what exactly you can do before phoning their new paid-for helpline: “switch off your computer and modem, then restart it [sic] again”. Beyond that, “we have over 200 Virgin Broadband experts ready to help if you’re having issues with your Virgin Broadband modem or service.” And you will pay handsomely for that dubious privilege. Having said that, I once sat one row behind Sir Richard B. at a rugby match at Twickenham and he was one of the most modest and self-effacing ‘superstars’ I have ever seen. Perhaps significantly, he did not charge 25p per minute (plus 10p connect fee) for an autograph, which he gave generously and graciously. He also left five minutes before the end to avoid undue attention… the sort of undue attention which you get when leaving a packed auditorium when all are seated while you make your excuses and leave, waving Diana-like to the crowd. Jim Chalmers |
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